Baby and Toddler Tantrums

My friend's baby is several months younger than my toddler and recently surprised her Mother with a tantrum.  Both this Mom and myself loosely practice Dr. Sear's method of Attachment parenting style.  My friend asked if I had any advice.  This was my response...

Um tantrums???  My only advice is I have no idea... I was in the same boat last week after flying across the country.  My precious Lamb flew with me all day arriving several hours past her bedtime.  Then we had an action-packed trip with no naps.  Five days later we were  leaving in the middle of the night to get on a plane back home.  We had a 3 1/2 hour lay over and 3 hour time change to adjust to.  I was so impressed with how well she flew and went with the flow.  The following day after our trip a full blow tantrum occurred during a quick Target shopping outing.  Ahhhhhhhh!

I'm really convinced the "T" word happens during times of major schedule change, any change in general and lack of sleep.  If you don't pull your hair out and get drunk or high while smoking a cigarette on a stripper pole or any other form of rebellious escape, then it's best to remember our baby's are VERY FREAKIN' HIGH NEED since WE chose to attach parent and "spoil" them like a little royalty... they expect us to soothe, hold them close, nurture, etc.  It's not personal and they aren't going to grow up to be disrespectful, entitled brats.  They just don't know how to communicate that they are tired or experiencing anxiety.  I try to remember when I drink coffee too late in the day and can't sleep that night but am really tired, tossing and turning I'm frustrated.  Don't have the energy in these times to get up and do something productive but can't calm my mind down enough to fall asleep either.  Of course I don't kick and scream as loud as I can begging anyone I see to make me feel better, but it'd be nice if that was an option.  Since your baby is adjusting to many changes that are probably overwhelming for her right now, just try to have a sense of humor and patience to know once you are back in your routine she will be the sweet little princess you know is your daughter.  Once I "recover" from my shock that my own flesh and blood, the child I carried has acted out in strange, foreign, odd, bizarre, 2 year old behavior, I realize that I am glad in a weird way that she feels comfortable to get it out and not suppress her feelings.  I also look at it as a warning that I need to make some adjustments in her schedule and allow a few days or week, whatever to bond even closer to make her feel secure.  Last night for example, I was knitting by nightlight in her room until she fell asleep.  She ended up waking up in the middle of the night and sleeping with me but the reward this morning was worth it.  She looked at me so grateful and for about a half hour or so, we just smiled and cuddled without saying a word.  Then finally she pronounced, "Mommy, I want to play".  Hang in there, your little monster will be back to ANGEL in no time.  Get rest when you can so you have the energy to give compassion.  Don't you think it would be cool if Mommy's could put themselves in time-out more often?  Good Luck!

1 comment:

  1. Amen sister....all I know is the attachment parenting style has paid off big for both of us!